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You’ve just started planning your wedding day, and whilst it should be such an exciting time – if you’re not the most extroverted person you may find that parts of the wedding day are making you panic.
If being centre of attention as you walk down the aisle makes you cringe or giving a speech to a room full of 100 people makes you sweat, then there is good news for you… you don’t have to do it!
Here’s a few solutions for the shy wedding couple…
The Ceremony
Walk down the aisle together
If your biggest worry is everyone looking at you as you walk down the aisle (or nervously wait at the front!) why not walk into your ceremony together?
Emma and Ben did this recently (below) and just look at the huge grins on their faces as they walked in hand in had as a team.
Get ready together or have a first look
Chances are when you and your partner are together the nerves are less obvious. If this is true for you then why not spend your morning getting ready together to really take the edge off.
If you’d prefer to get ready separately, ask your photographer to arrange a ‘first look’ where you get to see each other before the ceremony and have a chance to chat. This can calm your nerves hugely and gives you a private moment to gather your thoughts together before your ceremony begins.
Remember that your family and friends are there to support you – not judge you.
This was a big one for me on my wedding day. For some reason every decision I made about our day I worried about someone complaining about it! It got to me so much that when writing our vows – again, I couldn’t really say exactly what I wanted as the thoughts of my guests just kept creeping in!
What I wish I knew then is that if anyone did have negative thoughts they were kind enough not to vocalise them! But more importantly our friends and family weren’t there to judge us, they were there because they loved and supported us and wanted to share our wedding day with us.
Have a private ceremony
Why not have a small ceremony with just those most important people and invite the rest of your guests along to join you later for the party? A Small ceremony will mean there are less eyes on you (and probably be cheaper too!). The more intimate part of your day will be with your closest family members and should make you less anxious!
The reception
Keep it small
Rather than inviting everyone you’ve ever met, keep your guest list small. Not only does this make your reception room look less intimidating, it means there are less people for you to try to speak to as well.
Plus some of the best weddings are the small and cosy ones and it means you’ll have more time to actually enjoy yourself with the people you hold dearest.
Plan activities to take the focus away from you
During the reception is a great time to whip out the photo booth, coconut shy, welly wanging or even miniature railway. Giving your guests something a bit different to experience will take their sole attention from you and also makes great photos!
Skip the speeches
If giving a speech really makes you panic, you don’t have to do it. Just because tradition says there should be speeches doesn’t mean you have to do something you really don’t want to!
Ditch the top table
The top table is a weird place to be for the shy. Everyone can see you and unlike the other tables, there’s no one across from you to talk to. It’s positioned that way on purpose as you’re the stars of the show on your wedding day.
You can easily avoid this by hosting your own table with your family or wedding party on a round table. Or ditching the seating plan all together and having a really informal meal where guests can choose to sit where they like.
Don’t have a first dance
If dancing in front of everyone isn’t for you there are plenty of ways around it. Have the DJ or band invite everyone up at once so there is less focus on you both. You could also do something fun like a ceilidh!
If you’re feeling brave, dancing for just half the song and then asking you guests to join in is a great idea everyone will want to help you get the party started!
There is no reason why shy couples shouldn’t be able to love their wedding day too. Just because tradition dictates that certain things should happen at a wedding day it doesn’t mean they have to!
Think about what’s most important to you and what worries you the most and make your wedding day amendments from there. But trust me, no matter how anxious you are, your wedding day will be the best of your life so far!
